On Prestige Classes (An Opinionated and Very Long Post)

The Original Dwarven Defender

PARENTAL ADVISORY: The following can fairly be called an aggressive salvo in the 'Edition Wars'.

Recently on a thread in the Original D&D Discussion group, someone mentioned (with disdain) kits and prestige classes. Having been absent from the hobby for twenty-five years, I only had a vague idea of what prestige classes were. I figured they were like kits--specific and detailed variations on classes that (from an old school approach) were unnecessary and inadvisable for a number of reasons. I was right on the main. But quite frankly I had no idea of the extent of them. I figured 3e included a few extra classes like Thief-Acrobat, Cavalier, Super Duper Anti-Paladin, or whatever. But a quick check on Wikipedia showed that I was, well, naive on the matter. The entry specifies over 800 prestige classes, all described in official TSR or Wizards of the Coast publications.

I had no idea.

So we go from 3 (or 6) classes in original 0e to 11 in 1e, dipping down to 8 in 2e to 800+ in 3e. Now I know that's a slightly unfair way of counting things as each edition featured supplemental material that upped the overall total somewhat. There were, for example, over 300 kits in the so-called 2e 'splatbooks', which obviously laid the groundwork for the explosion of prestige classes in the next edition. But still.

For the fun of it, I thought I would spend a few minutes copying and pasting them all alphabetically. Keep in mind that according to Wikipedia, this includes only the entries from official TSR sources, and may not even be complete ('you can help by expanding it'). I dare all readers to scroll slowly and hold one's breath until the end:

Abjurant Champion

Aboleth Savant

Abolisher

Acolyte of the Ego

Acolyte of the Fist

Acolyte of the Skin

Aerial Avenger
Aeromancer

Agent Retriever

Aglarondan Griffonrider

Akodo Champion

Alchemist Savant

Alienist

Anarchic Initiate

Anarchromancer

Ancient Master

Anima Mage

Animal Lord

Anointed Knight

Apostle of Peace

Arachne

Arachnomancer

Arboreal Guardian

Arcane Archer

Arcane Devotee
Arcane Hierophant

Arcane Lord

Arcane Scholar of Candlekeep

Arcane Trickster

Arcanopath Monk

Archmage

Ardent Dilettante

Argent Fist

Argent Savant

Artist's Vengeance

Arvoreen's Keeper

Arvoreen's Warder

Ashworm Dragoon

Assassin

Astral Dancer

Atavist

Auspician

Avenging Executioner

Bane of Infidels

Barber

Battle Howler of Gruumsh

Battle Maiden

Battle Trickster

Battleguard of Tempus

Battlemage Warlord

Battlepriest of Cormyr

Battlerager

Battlesmith

Bayushi Deceiver

Bear Warrior

Beast Heart Adept

Beastmaster

Beholder Mage

Beloved of Valarian

Bereft

Berserk

Black Blood Cultist

Black Blood Hunter

Black Dog

Black Flame Zealot

Blackguard
Rock and Roll

Blade Bravo
Battle of Evermore
Stairway to Heaven

Blade Dancer

Blade of Orien

Bladesinger

Blessed of Gruumsh

Blighter

Blood Magus

Bloodclaw Master

Bloodhound

Bloodscaled Fury

Bloodsister

Bloodstorm Blade

Boge of Nomog-Geaya

Bonded Summoner

Bone Collector

Bone Knight

Bow Master

Bowman Charger

Branch Dancer

Brawler

Breachgnome

Brimstone Speaker

Cabinet Trickster

Cancer Mage

Candle Caster

Cataclysm Mage

Cavalier

Cave Stalker

Cavelord

Cavestalker

Celebrant of Sharess

Celestial Mystic

Cerebremancer

Cerebrex

Chameleon

Champion of Corellon Larethian

Champion of Gwynharwy

Chaotician

Charlatan

Child of Night

Chimeric Champion of Garl Glittergold

Church Inquisitor

Cipher Adept

Cloaked Dancer

Cloud Anchorite

Cognition Thief

Coiled Cabalist

Combat Medic

Combat Trapsmith

Companion of the Dead

Consecrated Harrier

Contemplative

Corrupt Avenger

Corsair

Cosmic Descryer

Council Mage of Cormyr

Court Herald

Cragtop Archer

Crimson Scourge

Crinti Shadow Marauder

Cryokineticist

Cultist of the Shattered Peak

Cyran Avenger

Cyre Scout

Daggerspell Mage

Daggerspell Shaper

Daidoji Bodyguard

Dancer of Sharess

Dark Lantern

Dark Scholar

Darkhunter

Darkmask

Darkrunner

Darkwater Knight

Darkwood Stalker

Dawncaller

Deadgrim

Death Delver

Deathstalker of Bhaal

Deathwarden Chanter

Deep Avenger

Deep Diviner

Deep Thrall

Deepstone Sentinel

Deepwarden

Deepwood Sniper

Defender of Sealtiel

Defiant

Demonbinder

Demonologist

Demonwrecker

Deneith Warden

Dervish

Devoted Defender

Diabolist

Diamond Dragon

Disciple of Ashardalon

Disciple of Asmodeus

Disciple of Baalzebul

Disciple of Dispater

Disciple of Mammon

Disciple of Mephistopheles

Disciple of the Eye

Disciple of the Word

Disciple of Thrym

Dispassionate Watcher of Chronepsis

Divine Agent

Divine Champion

Divine Crusader

Divine Disciple

Divine Emissary

Divine Oracle

Divine Prankster

Divine Seeker

Doomdreamer

Doomguard

Doomguide

Dracolexi

Dracolyte

Dragon Ascendant

Dragon Descendant

Dragon Devotee

Dragon Disciple

Dragon Lord

Dragon Mystic

Dragon Prophet

Dragon Rider

Dragon Samurai

Dragon Warrior

Dragonheart Mage

Dragonkith

Dragonmark Heir

Dragonrider

Dragonscribe

Dragonslayer

Dragonsong Lyricist

Dragonstalker

Dread Commando

Dread Fang of Lolth

Dread Pirate

Dread Witch

Dreadmaster

Driven Leader Warlord

Drow Judicator

Drunken Master

Duelist

Dungeon Delver

Dungeon Lord

Durrak'ash

Durthan

Dwarven Defender

Dwarven Thane

Dweomerkeeper

Eagle Knight

Earth Dreamer

Earthshaker

Ebon Saint

Ebonmar Infiltrator

Ectopic Adept

Effigy Master

Eldeen Ranger

Elder Druid

Eldritch Disciple

Eldritch Knight

Eldritch Master

Eldritch Theurge

Elemental Archon

Elemental Master

Elemental Savant

Elemental Scion of Zilargo

Elemental Warrior

Elocater

Elven High Mage

Emancipated Spawn

Emissary of Barachiel

Empowered

Enlightened Fist

Enlightened Spirit

Entropist

Entropomancer

Epic Infiltrator

Escalation Mage

Eternal Blade

Eunuch Warlock

Evangelist

Evereskan Tomb Guardian

Exalted Arcanist

Exemplar

Exorcist of the Silver Flame

Exotic Weapon Master

Extreme Explorer

Eye of Gruumsh

Eye of Horus-Re

Eye of Lolth

Faceless Ones

Fang of Lolth

Fang of Sseth

Fatemaker

Fatespinner

Fiend Binder

Fiend of Blasphemy

Fiend of Corruption

Fiend of Possession

Fiend Slayer

Fiend-Blooded

Fiendbinder

Fierce Grappler

Firestorm Berserker

Fist of Hextor

Fist of Raziel

Fist of the Forest

Fist of Zuoken

Flame Steward

Flayerspawn Psychic

Fleet Runner of Ehlonna

Fleshwarper

Flux Adept

Fochlucan Lyrist

Foe Hunter

Follower of the Skyserpent

Force Missile Mage

Forest Master

Forest Reeve

Forsaker

Fortune's Friend

Frenzied Berserker

Frost Mage

Frostrager

Gatecrasher

Gatekeeper Mystagogue

Geomancer

Geometer

Ghost Slayer

Ghost-Faced Killer

Ghostwalker

Giant-Killer

Gladiator

Gloomblade

Glorious Servitor

Gnome Artificer

Gnome Giant Killer

Gnome Giant-Slayer

Goldeye

Goliath Liberator

Gray Guard

Gray Hand Enforcer

Gray Sage

Gray Parsley, Rosemary and Thyme

Great Rift Deep Defender

Great Rift Skyguard

Green Star Adept

Green Whisperer

Guardian Paramount

Guild Thief

Guild Wizard of Waterdeep

Halfling Outrider

Halruaan Elder

Halruaan Magehound

Hammer of Moradin

Hand of the Adama

Hand of the Winged Masters

Harmonium Peacekeeper

Harper Agent

Harper Mage

Harper Paragon

Harper Priest

Harper Scout

Hathran

Havoc Mage

Haztaratain

Heartfire Fanner

Heartseeker

Heartwarder

Heir of Siberys

Hellbreaker

Hellfire Warlock

Hellreaver

Henshin Mystic

Hexer

Hida Defender

Hidecarved Dragon

Hierophant

High Elemental Binder

High Proselytizer

Highland Stalker

Hoardstealer

Holt Warden

Holy Liberator

Holy Scourge

Holy Slayer

Hordebreaker

Horizon Walker

Horned Harbinger

Hospitaler

Hulking Hurler

Hunter of the Dead

Iaijutsu Master

Icesinger

Illithid Body Tamer

Illithid Savant

Illithid Slayer

Illithidkin

Illumine Soul

Imaskari Vengeance Taker

Impure Prince

Incandescent Champion

Incantatrix

Incantifier

Incarnum Blade

Initiate of Pistis Sophia

Initiate of the Draconic Mysteries

Initiate of the Sevenfold Veil

Inquisitor

Inquisitor of the Drowning Goddess

Insidious Corruptor

Invisible Blade

Iron Mind

Ironsoul Forgemaster

Itinerant Warder of Yondalla

Jade Phoenix Mage

Jaguar Knight

Jaunter

Jester

Jobber

Jordain Vizier

Justicar

Justice Hammer of Moradin

Justice of Weald and Woe

Justiciar of Taiia

Justiciar of Tyr

Kabuki Warrior

Keeper of the Cerulean Sign

Kensai

King/Queen of the Wild

Kinslayer

Kishi Charger

Knight of the Blue Moon

Knight of the Chalice

Knight of the Chase

Knight of the Crown

Knight of the Flying Hunt

Knight of the Iron Glacier

Knight of the Lily

Knight of the Middle Circle

Knight of the Raven

Knight of the Rose

Knight of the Sacred Seal

Knight of the Scale

Knight of the Skull

Knight of the Sword

Knight of the Thorn

Knight of the Weave

Knight Phantom

Knight Protector

Knight Protector of the Great Kingdom

Knight-Errant of Silverymoon
Landforged Walker

Lasher

Legacy Champion

Legendary Captain

Legendary Dreadnought

Legendary Leader

Legendary Tactician

Leviathan Hunter

Lifedrinker

Lightbearer

Lion of Talisid

Lord of Tides

Loredelver

Loremaster

Luckstealer

Luiren Marchwarden

Lyric Thaumaturge

Maester

Mage of the Arcane Order

Mage-Killer

Magelord

Magic Filcher

Magical Trickster

Maho-Bujin

Maho-Tsukai

Maiden of Pain

Malconvoker

Mamluk

Mantis Mercenary

Maquar Crusader

Martyred Champion of Ilmater

Mask of Johydee

Master Alchemist

Master Astrologer

Master Inquisitive

Master Inquisitive

Master of Chains

Master of Flies

Master of Many Forms

Master Of Masks

Master of Nine

Master of Shadow

Master of Shrouds

Master of the East Wind

Master of the North Wind

Master of the Secret Sound

Master of the South Wind

Master of the Unseen Hand

Master of the West Wind

Master of the Yuirwood

Master of Vipers

Master Samurai

Master Siege Engineer

Master Specialist

Master Thrower

Master Transmogrifist

Medani Prophet

Memory Smith

Menacing Brute

Merchant Prince

Metal Master

Metamind

Mighty Contender of Kord

Mind Mage

Mindbender

Mindspy

Mirumoto Niten Master

Mole
Naked Mole Rat

Monk of the Enabled Hand

Monk of the Long Death

Moon Drover of Cormyr

Moonsea Sentinel

Moonspeaker

Moonstar Agent

Morninglord of Lathander

Mortal Hunter

Moto Avenger

Mountebank

Mystic Keeper of Corellon Larethian

Mystic Theurge

Mystic Wanderer

Mythic Exemplar

Naga Overlord

Nar Demonbinder

Nature’s Warrior

Necrocarnate

Nentyar Hunter

Netherese Arcanist

Neverwinter Nine

Night Mask Deathbringer

Night of the Pearl

Nightcloak

Nightmare Spinner

Nightshade

Nightsong Enforcer

Nightsong Infiltrator

Ninja of the Crescent Moon

Ninja Spy

Noble Adventurer

Noctumancer

Nosomatic Chirurgeon

Occult Slayer

Ocular Adept

Olin Gisir

Ollam

Omatu Master

Oozemaster

Oppressor

Orc Blademaster

Orc Scout

Orc Warlord

Ordained Champion

Order of the Bow Initiate

Ordinator

Osteomancer

Outcast Champion

Outlaw of the Crimson Road

Pact-Bound Adept

Pale Master

Paragnostic Apostle

Paragnostic Initiate

Peerless Archer

Peregrine Runner

Perfect Wight

Perfected One

Pious Templar

Planar Champion

Planar Shepherd

Planeshifter

Platinum Knight

Poison Fist

Poisoner

Prairie Runner

Primal Rager

Primal Scholar

Prime Underdark Guide

Primeval

Prophet of Erathaol

Psi-hunter

Psibond Agent

Psion Uncarnate

Psionic Fist

Purebreath Devotee

Purifier of the Hallowed Doctrine

Purple Dragon Knight

Pyrokineticist

Quori Mindhunter

Quori Nightmare
Knock Knock?

Radiant Servant of Pelor

Rage Mage

Rainbow Servant

Ranger Knight of Furyondy
Who's There?

Ranger of the Night’s Watch

Raumathari Battlemage

Ravager

Reachrunner
Ordinator

Reaper's Child

Reaping Mauler

Recaster

Red Avenger
Ordinator Who?

Red Dragon Disciple

Red Wizard

Red Wizard of Thay

Reforged
Your Pizza's Here. Aren't You The Guy That Ordinated It?

Renegade Mastermaker

Replacement Killer

Revenant Blade

Righteous Zealot

Rimefire Witch

Risen Martyr

Ronin

Royal Explorer

Royal Scout of Cormyr

Ruathar

Ruby Knight Vindicator

Runecaster

Runecaster

Runescarred Berserker

Runesmith

Sacred Exorcist

Sacred Fist

Sacred Warder of Bahamut

Sanctified Mind

Sanctified One

Sand Shaper

Sapphire Hierarch

Scaled Horror

Scar Enforcer

Scarlet Corsair

Scion of Dantalion

Scion of Tem-Et-Nu

Scorpion Heritor

Scorpion Wraith

Scourge Maiden

Scout Warlord

Sea Mother Whip

Sea Witch

Seeker of the Misty Isle

Seeker of the Song

Sentinel of Bharrai

Serene Guard

Serpent Slayer

Shaaryan Hunter

Shadar Sentinel

Shade Hunter

Shadow Adept

Shadow Apostle

Shadow Hunter

Shadow Scout

Shadow Sentinel

Shadow Sun Ninja

Shadow Thief of Amn

Shadowbane Inquisitor

Shadowbane Stalker

Shadowblade

Shadowcraft Mage

Shadowcrafter

Shadowdancer

Shadowmind

Shadowsmith

Shadowspy

Shadowstriker

Shaper of Form

Shapeshifter

Shark Cultist

Shen

Shiba Protector

Shifter

Shining Blade of Heironeous

Shintao Monk

Shoal Servant

Shou Disciple

Silver Key

Silver Pyromancer

Silverhair Knight

Silverstar

Silverstar

Singer of Concordance

Singh Rager

Siren

Skullclan Hunter

Skylord

Skypledged

Slaad Brooder

Slayer

Slayer of Domiel

Slime Lord

Snake Servant

Solar Channeler

Soldier of Light

Son of Mercy

Soul Eater

Soulbow

Soulcaster

Soulguard

Soulknife

Soulreaver

Sovereign Speaker

Spell Sovereign

Spellcarved Soldier

Spelldancer

Spellfire Channeler

Spellfire Hierophant

Spellguard of Silverymoon

Spellsinger

Spellsword

Spellwarp Sniper

Sphere Minion

Spinemeld Warrior

Spirit Speaker

Spur Lord

Spymaster

Squire of Legend

Stalker of Karash

Stalwart Warden

Steel Legionnaire

Stoneblessed

Stonedeath Assassin

Stoneface

Stonelord

Stonespeaker Guardian

Storm Disciple

Storm Sentry

Stormcaster

Stormlord

Stormsinger

Stormtalon

Streetfighter

Strifeleader

Sublime Chord

Suel Arcanamach

Sun Soul Monk

Sunmaster

Survivor

Swanmay

Swift Wing

Swiss Burger with Bacon

Sword Dancer

Sword of Righteousness

Sworn Slayer

Sybil

Tactical Soldier

Tainted Scholar

Talon of Tiamat

Talontar Blightlord

Tamer of Beasts

Tattooed Monk

Techsmith

Telflammar Shadowlord

Tempest

Templar

Temple Raider of Olidammara

Tenebrous Apostate

Thayan Gladiator

Thayan Knight

Thayan Slaver

The Athar

The Cipher

The Darkwood Stalker

The Duelist

The Flesheater

The Glaive of Azharadian

The Green Hunter

The Infused

The Mourner

The Mystic

The Sensate

The Sinker

The Tainted

The Taker

The Xaositect

Thief of Life

Thief-Acrobat

Thrall of Baphomet

Thrall of Dagon

Thrall of Demogorgon

Thrall of Fraz-Urb'luu

Thrall of Graz'zt

Thrall of Juiblex

Thrall of Kostchtchie

Thrall of Malcanthet

Thrall of Orcus

Thrall of Pazuzu

Thrall of Zuggtomy

Thrallherd

Thunder Guide

Tiger Mask

Topaz Guardian

Totem Rager

Totemic Demonslayer

Trapsmith

Tree-Friend

Triadic Knight

Tribal Protector

Troubadour of Stars

True Necromancer

Truth Seeker

Twisted Lord
Twisted Sister

Ultimate Magus

Umbral Disciple

Unbound Scroll

Uncanny Trickster

Unholy Ravager

Unholy Ravager of Tiamat

Union Sentinel

Unseen Seer

Ur-Priest

Urban Savant

Urban Soul

Vadilis Beastkeeper

Vassal of Bahamut

Vengeance Knight

Vengeance Sworn

Verdant Lord

Vermin Keeper

Vermin Lord

Vigilant Sentinel of Aerenal

Vigilante

Virtuoso

Visionary Seeker

Void Disciple

Waker of the Beast

Walker in the Waste

War Chanter

War Hulk

War Mind

War Weaver

War Wizard of Cormyr

Warchief

Warforged Juggernaut

Warmaster

Warpriest

Warrior of Darkness

Warrior Skald

Warshaper

Warsling Sniper

Watch Detective

Wavekeeper

Waverider

Waveservant

Wayfarer Guide

Weapon Master

Wearer of Purple

Weightless Foot

Weretouched Master

Whisperknife

Whitehorn

Wild Mage

Wild Plains Outrider

Wild Scout

Wild Soul

Wildrunner

Windrider

Windsinger

Windwalker

Windwright Captain

Winterhaunt of Iborighu

Witch Hunter

Witch Slayer

Witchborn Binder

Wizard of High Sorcery

Wonderworker

World Guardian

Worldspeaker

Wormhunter

Wyrm Wizard

Yakuza

Yathchol Webrider

Yathrinshee

Yuan-Ti Cultist

Zerth Cenobite

Zhentarim Skymage

Zhentarim Spy

Okay, so I added a few lines just to see if anyone was paying attention. But 99% of the above is 100% accurate.

What are we to say of them all?

Well, first, especially when listed on, well, a list like this, it's amazing, to be frank, just how plain dumb many of them sound:

Knight-Errant of Silverymoon?
Purple Dragon Knight?
Silverhair Knight?

And those are just the knights.

Second, of the remainder it's notable how sinister so many of them are:

Dark Scholar

Death Delver

Deathstalker of Bhaal
Demonologist
Diabolist

Disciple of Baalzebul

And those are just the D's.

(I can't believe Spalding's even bringing that up. It's only a game. Twelve year old's know that--though clearly Spalding doesn't. He's probably, you know, one of those moral police people or something, in favor of censorship.)

I'm not in favor of censorship actually. But in honesty, if I were (please note the if), forget about D.H. Lawrence, Nietzsche and The Anarchist's Cookbook. I'd settle for banning prestige classes and be done with it. Would Congress go for that?

But seriously, the silly and sinister aside. The whole idea of prestige classes is just cracked from a design point of view. As an example, take Dwarven Defender--one of the more 'normal' options. Here's part of the description from the Hypertext D20 SRD:

When he adopts a defensive stance, a defender gains phenomenal strength and durability, but he cannot move from the spot he is defending. He gains +2 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 dodge bonus to AC. The increase in Constitution increases the defender’s hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the defensive stance when the Constitution score drops back 4 points. These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are. While in a defensive stance, a defender cannot use skills or abilities that would require him to shift his position. A defensive stance lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the character’s (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A defender may end his defensive stance voluntarily prior to this limit. At the end of the defensive stance, the defender is winded and takes a -2 penalty to Strength for the duration of that encounter. A defender can only use his defensive stance a certain number of times per day as determined by his level (see Table: The Dwarven Defender). Using the defensive stance takes no time itself, but a defender can only do so during his action. When he adopts a defensive stance, a defender gains phenomenal strength and durability, but he cannot move from the spot he is defending. He gains +2 to Strength, +4 to Constitution, a +2 resistance bonus on all saves, and a +4 dodge bonus to AC. The increase in Constitution increases the defender’s hit points by 2 points per level, but these hit points go away at the end of the defensive stance when the Constitution score drops back 4 points. These extra hit points are not lost first the way temporary hit points are. While in a defensive stance, a defender cannot use skills or abilities that would require him to shift his position. A defensive stance lasts for a number of rounds equal to 3 + the character’s (newly improved) Constitution modifier. A defender may end his defensive stance voluntarily prior to this limit. At the end of the defensive stance, the defender is winded and takes a -2 penalty to Strength for the duration of that encounter. A defender can only use his defensive stance a certain number of times per day as determined by his level (see Table: The Dwarven Defender). Using the defensive stance takes no time itself, but a defender can only do so during his action.

Hmm. Interesting. Okay, here's my alternative suggestion. You want to be a Dwarven Defender? Okay, just be a Dwarven Defender. Act like one. Stand there on the stairs as the Orcs are coming up them and hit them with your axe, one by one. Make notches somewhere to record your kills. When your axe becomes ineffective (at on average about 30 Orcs or so), throw it away and grab a spare. And so on.

Why must all of this be done for you (and then described in the most needlessly complicated and excruciatingly boring way possible)? Is it because your imagination (you are a twelve year old) isn't good enough? Do you need the experts at Wizards of the Coast to help you on that?

Give me a break.

...

THE PARENTAL ADVISORY IS NOW OVER. GO BACK TO YOUR STATIONS. Whatever your group wants to do is okay as long as your group wants to do it. Kumbaya, my Lord, and all that. If you want to build a Breachgnome, go for it!