Randomly Generated Dungeon for Seven Voyages of Zylarthen

Or rather, the 1st level of one. There are 50 rooms:

1. Empty
2. Empty
3. Empty
4. Empty
5. Monster: 4 Bats
6. Empty
7. Monster: 2 Black Knights
8. Empty
9. Empty
10. Empty
11. Monster: 4 Skeletons
12. Empty
13. Empty
14. Empty
15. Empty
16. Empty
17. Empty
18. Empty
19. Empty
20. Monster & Treasure: 3 Elves, 4000 SP, 100 GP, 1 Gem (10 SP value)
21. Monster & Treasure: 2 Snatchers, Dagger +1, +2 vs. Goblins and Kobolds, Scroll of 1 Spell: Pass-Wall, Mail +4 (carried)
22. Treasure: 9000 CP, 1 Gem (10 SP value)
23. Monster: 3 Crocodiles
24. Empty
25. Empty
26. Empty
27. Empty
28. Empty
29. Empty
30. Monster: 6 Bandits, 60 CP (carried)
31. Empty
32. Empty
33. Treasure: 1 Jewelry (600 SP value)
34. Empty
35. Empty
36. Empty
37. Empty
38. Empty
39. Monster: 2 Giant Dragonflies
40. Monster & Treasure: 6 Vikings, 36 SP (carried), 1100 SP
41. Monster: 2 Gargoyles
42. Monster: 9 Red Martians, 90 pi coins (carried)
43. Treasure: 500 SP
44. Treasure: Scroll of 7 Spells: Animate Objects, Contact Higher Plane, Magic Jar, Telekinesis, Wall of Stone (2), Animate Dead, 1 Map to treasure horde of 1300 GP (97 miles away)
45. Empty
46. Empty
47. Monster & Treasure: 1 Boar, 800 CP
48. Monster: 2 Berserkers, 8 SP (carried)
49. Empty
50. Monster: 3 Half-Elves

Notes:
1. I used the guidelines on p. 4 of Vol. 4, The Campaign, figuring that 1 in 4 rooms would contain monsters, 50% of monsters would have treasure and 1 in 6 unoccupied rooms would have treasure.
2. Monsters were generated from the tables on pp. 9-10.
3. Magic Items and spells were generated from the tables in Vol. 3, Book of Magic.
4. For treasure hordes, I used the treasure class tables on p. 38 of Vol. 4. But I multiplied the results by 10% (11000 SP became 1100 SP, and so on) on any roll of 1-5 out of 6. Perhaps I should have let the CP numbers stand just to give the player-characters more to carry. 
5. For unguarded treasure or monsters without a treasure class, I randomly chose from treasure classes 1-3.
6. Amazingly, the total treasure value (if you include the horde referenced by that map) comes out to approximately 15,000 SP--well within the guidelines on p. 4.
7. I didn't cheat (not once). I suppose the scroll of 7 5th level spells in Room 44 might be adjusted, as well as (maybe) the Mail +4. Then again, the party might need some of those spells for a few of the monsters (1 magic dagger against 2 Gargoyles is tough).
8. Many of the monsters seem easy for 1st level characters, but obviously a few of the monsters are very powerful with serious TPK potential. This is a good dungeon level to teach players how to pick their battles (if they can) and when to hide or run away. Similarly, making friends (there are obviously a number of potential allies) or at the least not making enemies will also be paramount. You don't want those 9 Red Martians (all presumably armed with Radium Pistols) to have a problem with you.
9. I have no idea how the Boar got in there.

The Most Pointless Table Ever

This is of course taken from the new 5e D&D Basic Rules.

Make them all different (1e) or make them all the same (0e) (my preference), but why make some the same and some different but only by a really teeny amount? What is the purpose of it in terms of player choice, play balance, the aesthetic of the rules, realism, getting players more immersed in the fantasy world or, well, just making things fun?

Contrast:

Everyone begins with 30-180 gold pieces to seek his or her fortune.

with

We mean to comprehensively and accurately describe this alternate fantasy world for you. It's important for us to get it right, and it's important for you to get it right. The average amount of funds that different character classes start out with is similar but not precisely so (due to how the economics of the fantasy world work out, or whatever). The average amount is the same for Clerics and Fighters and the same for Rogues and Wizards, but Clerics and Fighters have slightly higher averages than Rogues and Wizards. In practice of course this doesn't make a huge amount of difference, but still it's important for us to get it right, and it's important for you to get it right. Here is a chart  that explains it.

Unfair perhaps, but that's how it appears to me.

I have no idea whether the table was lifted from 4e or 3.5 or not and I don't really care to check. But it's just another example of ill-thought out (or overly thought out) clunkiness.

D&D 5e Basic Rules: A Random Review

As most of you probably know by now, the free download of the Basic Rules is available here.

In the spirit of the OSR I thought I would write a review based on random tables. Grab a six-sided die and enjoy!

1. COMMENT ON THIS SAMPLE EXCHANGE:

Dungeon Master (DM): OK, one at a time. Phillip, you’re looking at the gargoyles?

Phillip: Yeah. Is there any hint they might be creatures and not decorations?

DM: Make an Intelligence check.

Phillip: Does my Investigation skill apply?

DM: Sure!

Phillip (rolling a d20): Ugh. Seven.

DM: They look like decorations to you. And Amy, Riva is checking out the drawbridge?

Die	Result
1	A clear presentation of the current state of the art in RPGs. Thank the goddess we’re not living in the 1970’s anymore.
2	I skip these sorts of things.
3	I wanted to write something but I just failed my Intelligence check.
4	That this is featured on the first page of text does not auger well.
5	The above is an example of ‘New School’ roleplaying at its dumbest.
6	That one of the female characters is named ‘Riva’ brings up bad memories.

2. OVERALL THE RULES ARE:

Die	Result
1	Way too complicated.
2	Not complicated enough. Bring on the full $40 manuals!
3	Appropriate for the 'Basic Game'. It will lure novices in.
4	A precise simulation of reality down to the tiniest atom.
5	Fascinating! I've always wanted to act out a fantasy story. Now I understand how to do it!
6	Way too complicated. But then again, I've had a few drinks.

3. IF I WANT TO, CAN I PLAY A DWARF WHO IS NOT 'DWARF-LIKE', AT LEAST ACCORDING TO THE TWO PAGE DESCRIPTION OF 'DWARF-LIKE' RACIAL AND CULTURAL CHARACTERISTICS, ATTITUDES TO THE OTHER RACES, ETC?:

Die	Result
1	No.
2	Yes.
3	That you even ask shows that you are a reactionary.
4	Yes.
5	Only if you make your Constitution check modified by your Arrogance score.
6	Perhaps, but only after private consultation with your DM.

4. IS THE ELF TRAIT 'MASK OF THE WILD':

Die	Result
1	Evocative.
2	Confusing.
3	A further sign that Elves are a bit magical.
4	Silly.
5	Cool.
6	Cribbed from 50 Shades of Grey.

5. PERSONALITY TRAITS (IDEALS, BONDS AND FLAWS) ARE:

Die	Result
1	Boring and too new school.
2	An enhancement of role-playing, and isn't that what it's all about?
3	Appropriate for the 'Basic Game'. Freudian analysis only comes with the Advanced edition.
4	Confusingly presented. Are they chosen or randomly determined? The rules are unclear.
5	Fascinating! I've always wanted to act out a fantasy story. Now I understand how to do it!
6	Way too complicated. But then again, I've had a few drinks.

6. COMMENT ON THIS TEXT:

You don't need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender. The elf god Correllon Larethian is often seen as androgynous or hermaphroditic, for example...You could also play a female character who presents herself as a man, or a man who feels trapped in a female body, or a bearded female dwarf who hates being mistaken for a male. Likewise, your character's sexual orientation is for you to decide.

Die	Result
1	I'm sorry, what is there to comment on?
2	Whatever, as long as the all the NPC Elven chicks have lesbian tendencies.
3	Oh, please. Must we have this in a game written primarily for children?
4	Yes, we must, and the author of the above statement is obviously a homophobe. There's no place for that in the RPG community. Take your hate and go home.
5	Personally, I've always felt I was a bearded man trapped in the body of someone who can't grow a beard.
6	Perhaps, but only after private consultation with your DM.

7. IS THE LIST OF 'TRINKETS':

Die	Result
1	About the only thing worthwhile here.
2	Too random. What if you end up with a bad one?
3	Too simple, without description or explanation. It's not clear how to DM it. Will the Advanced edition have rules telling us how to use these in play?
4	Cool.
5	So old school that it almost seems out of place.
6	Cool.

8. DO THE 0-HIT POINT, DEATH AND HEALING RULES SEEM ANY MORE 'DANGEROUS' THAN 4E:

Die	Result
1	No.
2	Yes.
3	Extremely unclear. Mixed signals are sent.
4	No.
5	Probably not.
6	No, and that's another huge problem with this game.

9. IS THE PRESENCE OF A MAGIC MISSILE SPELL THAT AUTOMATICALLY HITS:

Die	Result
1	New school.
2	Old school.
3	Heresy.
4	A carryover from the original game that has no deep significance whatsoever.
5	A good thing for all M-U's to have, if they have a spare spell slot.
6	Pretty damn powerful considering that in general you get one 'dart' per level. (Though in the context of the relatively high hit points and other special powers of PC's and Monsters in this game, is it really that great? I have no idea.)

10. WAS THE AUTHOR OF THIS REVIEW:

Die	Result
1	Fair and balanced.
2	Unbalanced.
3	Mixed. It depends on how the dice were rolled. Hence the 'Random' title.
4	Predisposed.
5	Inebriated (but what else is new?)
6	All of the above

Fight On!